Fern Helkin

Fern Donna Helkin

Thursday, September 22nd, 1960 - Monday, July 29th, 2019
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Fern D. Helkin, 58, passed away peacefully on Monday July 29, 2019 due to Early Onset Alzheimer's Disease. Fern was born in Brooklyn, NY on September 22, 1960 to the late Leonard and Eileen Helkin. She was predeceased by her loving brother Steven "Wormy" Helkin in 2015.
Fern cherished the years she spent living in Long Island and Boston before settling in Connecticut. She was an avid fan of UConn Women's basketball, New England Patriots, and the Boston Red Sox. A talented athlete herself, Fern was inducted into her high school Hall of Fame.
Fern leaves to cherish her memory her partner of 26 years, Alice Formeister, along with many dear friends. Fern made friends easily with her outgoing personality, sense of humor, infectious laughter and awesome dance moves. Services are private.
Fern's partner and family of friends would like to thank all the staff of Evergreen Healthcare in Stafford for the compassionate care she received. In honor of Fern's brave struggle, donations may be made to the Alzheimer's Association
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Donations are being accepted for: Alzheimer's Association.


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Sharon Jubrey

Posted at 01:24pm
I was such a pleasure to be one of her caregivers. Will miss her smile and her dancing. RIP my friend♥️

Paula Vaillancourt

Posted at 12:27pm
Sending my deepest sympathies to Alice..miss Fern..she was a fun patient..dancing n singing to oldies..spunky n sweet..may you keep all the beautiful memories in your heart my Fernie..hugs

Jay Lubow

Posted at 03:06pm
Fern and my childhoods are entwined the way only those of cousins could be. We grew up within 10 minutes' drive of each other's homes, and we shared so much more than just our families. Fern was precocious as a kid, and daring. Yet, when her actions didn't work out quite as planned, a certain look of regret would overtake Fern's expression as she would confess the truth (Fern was never a good liar). I can clearly remember when she showed up on my family's porch, about age 11, sick as a dog and vomiting. My Mom asked if she ate something bad, and Fern starting to cry and said she had smoked a cigarette --her very first.
One July 4th when we were setting off fireworks, again she must have been age 11 or 12, she begged to have some firecrackers to light off. As we all got more daring, lighting the firecrackers on the ground and running away wasn't good enough. We began lighting them in our hand and throwing them. If it was going to happen to anyone, it was going to be Fern: a firecracker exploded in her hand. Unhurt but in shock as her laughter immediately changed to an expression of awe, she ran up to each family member screaming, 'a firecracker blew up in my hand, a firecracker blew up in my hand!' I can still see her holding a baggie filled with ice on her palm, muttering 'it's just a little numb now.'
As we grew older, shortly after I'd graduated from college and moved back home I needed to return to South Carolina for my friends' wedding, and Fern came with me. Many of my friends knew of Fern from my having told stories about her, but my very best friend --being extremely stoned when we arrived-- jumped up and hugged me hello, and quite seriously turned to Fern, opened his arms and engulfed her in a welcome hug as he said, '...and you must be Moss!' Fern just looked at me with a mildly amused expression before we all burst out in laughter. And for the rest of Fern's life, I had always called her 'Moss' at some point in our conversations.... and we always laughed at the memory. Until she no longer remembered.
When Fern and Alice came to an art show that turned out to be in a gallery one block from my apartment --it was the first time we were meeting Alice-- the expression of love mixed with pride was visible on her face to me as she introduced us to her girlfriend. One thing Fern was good at was picking friends, and even better when finding a girlfriend.
Fern Helkin was my cousin and we were a part of each other. And she was a most special person. I'll always carry part of her with me.
-Jay Lubow

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